Strumming in between

I picked up my guitar tonight for the first time since probably May. It was nice to do something different and play some music. It's neat how a certain song will take you back to a memory.

I'm starting to get tired of being in between. I sort of have a direction and it will be more clarified next Wednesday when I fly down to Ft. Lauderdale, but right now it's getting old. Back in late Spring as I filled out my calendar for the rest of the year that after Katie and Joel's wedding that I didn't really have any dates to put down. During high school I always had drum camp and band camp on the calandar and they marked the milestone of a new year. After high school, college began with it's first day, holidays, and end of semester finals dates. During the summer I always had a first day and last day of an internship, which was followed by the next first day of school. This year is a new beginning, no dates on the calendar. It's hard to make that transition from structure to no structure. I was thinking about it tonight as I drove home from Home Depot (where I was trying to entertain myself) that assuming I take the job in Florida that it will start around the time that school would be starting the fall semester. That sounds like something that would happen to me, continue to the normal schedule. All in all that won't be too strange to start then. The weird part will be when May 2006 rolls around and I'll keep doing the same thing, then June, July, and August will come and I won't be starting and ending an internship. I'll still have my job (hopefully). The months will pass and I'll keep working.

Growing up is weird; I don't feel 24. I still see myself as a college student, if that, more like a high school student. In some ways I'm behind in the growing up department, this year brought my first kiss, first relationship and unfortunately first breakup (though I guess everyone has to experience that), first alcoholic drink, but even with those firsts I just finished my sixth year of college and earned a masters. It seems like somethings are out of order and sometimes I feel like I need to catch up but sometimes I don't. A lot of the time I'm glad I didn't experience some things earlier in life because I don't know how I would have handled them. I just need to trust myself to grow into an adult.